How to Encourage Someone Who Has Left Your Church to Come Back to Church

Okay, this is another important one because people leave churches for different reasons. And I think the first thing you have to understand is that somebody leaving your church does not necessarily mean the person has left God. There may be something that happened.

Maybe the person was offended. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Maybe the person felt neglected. Maybe there was a leadership issue. Maybe the person just felt that he needed to move somewhere else. So before you start trying to bring the person back, you have to first understand why the person left.

Talk to the person. Ask him what happened. Let him talk. And please, don’t approach him as if you are trying to prove to him that leaving your church was a mistake. No. You are trying to understand what happened.

And sometimes, the person may tell you something you don’t want to hear. Maybe he says, “Pastor, this happened and I was not happy about it.” Listen to him. Don’t immediately start defending yourself or defending the church. Listen first.

If you discover that something was actually wrong, deal with it. Maybe you need to apologise. Maybe there was a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up. Maybe there is something the church needs to improve. Then improve it.

But you also have to give the person room. You can tell him, “We would love to have you with us again.” You can check on him. You can let him know that the door is open. But don’t put pressure on him.

And don’t only call the person because you want him to come back. Call because you genuinely care about him. Ask how he is doing. Ask how his family is doing. Maintain the relationship.

Because sometimes, we are too focused on bringing people back to church that we forget about the person.

Your responsibility is to reach out, listen, care, address what needs to be addressed and let the person know that he is welcome.

And if the person eventually decides to come back, receive him well. Don’t keep reminding him that he left. Don’t make him feel like he is now coming back as somebody who has to prove himself again.

Let him come back and feel at home.

At the end of the day, we are dealing with people, not numbers. So you need wisdom. You need love. You need patience. And you need to understand why the person left before you start trying to bring him back.