You make a decision you believe is right for the ministry, but some of the people you lead disagree with it.
They may question your reasoning, express frustration, resist the change, or continue telling others that they think the decision is wrong.
What should you do?
The answer is not to make everyone agree with you. Good leadership requires something more realistic: people should be able to disagree with a decision without becoming divided from the team.
1. First, ask whether their disagreement has merit
Don’t assume that disagreement means rebellion.
Someone may see a problem you have overlooked.
Before defending your decision, ask:
- What exactly do they disagree with?
- Do they have information I don’t have?
- Is their concern about the decision itself or how it was made?
- Have I explained the reasoning clearly?
- Is there something I should reconsider?
A leader who cannot receive correction eventually surrounds themselves with people who only tell them what they want to hear.
Listening does not make you a weak leader. It helps you make better decisions.
2. Explain the “why”
People don’t necessarily need to agree with every decision, but they often need to understand why the decision was made.
For example, instead of simply saying:
“We’re changing the workers’ meeting schedule.”
Explain:
“We’re changing the schedule because attendance has been consistently low, and we believe the new time will make it easier for most workers to participate.”
You don’t have to reveal every confidential detail or turn every decision into a debate.
But when appropriate, give people enough context to understand the reasoning behind the decision.
3. Give people room to disagree respectfully
Healthy teams should have room for honest disagreement.
You can say:
“I understand that you don’t agree with the decision, and I’m willing to hear your concerns. But once we’ve discussed it and the decision has been made, I need us to work together rather than continually revisit the issue.”
This establishes an important distinction:
Disagreement is allowed. Undermining the team is not.
Someone can say, “I don’t think this is the best approach.”
That is different from saying, “Don’t listen to the leader; we’re not going to do it.”
4. Know when the decision is actually yours to make
Not every ministry decision belongs to one leader.
Some decisions require consultation, agreement, or approval from other leaders.
Before insisting that people follow your decision, ask:
“Do I actually have the authority to make this decision?”
If you do, take responsibility for it.
If you don’t, involve the appropriate people.
Leadership becomes frustrating when people are expected to take responsibility for decisions they were never given authority to make—or when leaders exercise authority they don’t actually have.
5. Don’t punish people simply for disagreeing
A person should not lose a responsibility, position, or relationship with leadership simply because they expressed a sincere disagreement.
If you punish every disagreement, people quickly learn to hide their real opinions.
Instead, pay attention to their conduct after the decision.
A person may disagree with you and still faithfully support the ministry.
Another person may agree with you publicly but privately create division.
The second problem is usually more serious.
6. Address persistent resistance privately
If someone continues resisting the decision after it has been properly discussed, don’t immediately confront them publicly.
Speak with them privately.
You might say:
“I know you didn’t agree with the decision, and I respect that you expressed your concerns. But I’ve noticed that the issue is continuing to affect the team. Can we talk about what’s happening?”
Try to discover whether there is an unresolved concern, misunderstanding, personal frustration, or genuine conflict.
Sometimes what looks like resistance to a decision is actually resistance to how the person was treated during the decision-making process.
7. Don’t confuse leadership with getting your way
A leader’s goal is not:
“Everyone must agree with me.”
The goal is:
“We can make wise decisions, disagree honestly, and still work together faithfully.”
You will sometimes make decisions that people don’t like.
You will sometimes make decisions that turn out to be wrong.
And sometimes you will need to change your mind.
Strong leadership includes the humility to say:
“I’ve listened to your concerns, and I believe you have a point. I’m going to reconsider this.”
Changing your mind after receiving good information is not failure.
It can be leadership maturity.
A simple framework
When people disagree with your decision, work through these five questions:
1. Listen — What exactly is their concern?
2. Examine — Is there something you have missed?
3. Explain — Have you clearly communicated the reasoning?
4. Decide — Who has responsibility and authority for the final decision?
5. Align — Once the decision is made, how will the team move forward together?
What to remember
You do not need everyone to agree with you before you can lead.
But you should create an environment where people can speak honestly, leaders can listen carefully, decisions can be made responsibly, and the team can move forward without unnecessary division.
The question is not simply:
“How do I make them agree with me?”
A better question is:
“How do I lead well when we disagree?”
