How Do You Lead People Who Don’t Respect Your Leadership?

I think this happens to a lot of leaders, but many leaders don’t want to talk about it. Maybe they don’t even know how to share it. Some just pretend as if it never happened. Some people just shy away from the whole thing in order to regain their sanity, or maybe because they don’t want it to start affecting them emotionally.

Because when you are leading people who don’t respect your leadership… it’s really a tough one.

But the angle I want to bring this from is this… don’t just deal with the issue. Ask yourself, why is it like that in the first place?

There can be many reasons.

Maybe these are people who give you money, and because of that, you are always depending on them. Maybe you are always asking them for one thing or the other, and they know how much you depend on them. So gradually, they lose that regard for you as a leader.

Or maybe they are much older than you. So in their mind, they are looking at you like, “This small boy wants to lead me?” Or, “This small girl wants to tell me what to do?” And honestly, that can happen.

Maybe you offended them before. Maybe something happened between both of you, and even though you are now their leader, they haven’t really let go of it. So every instruction you give them is coming through the lens of that offence.

And sometimes… you may even need to check yourself.

Maybe the problem is not entirely them.

Maybe your own character as a leader is part of the reason. Maybe there are things you used to do when you were not in leadership that are now coming back to affect the way people see you. Because you can’t really solve a problem that you are also part of without first being honest about your own role in it.

So, before you start saying, “These people don’t respect me,” take a moment and ask, “Why?”

Now, having said all of that… what do you do if you find yourself in that situation?

I’ll give you a straight answer.

Produce results.

Only fools doubt proof. Only fools doubt proof.

Don’t spend all your energy trying to force people to respect you. Don’t become obsessed with proving that you are the leader. Focus on what you are actually doing with the responsibility you have been given.

When people can see results… when they can see that things are moving, problems are being solved, people are growing, and your leadership is producing something tangible… it becomes more difficult to dismiss you.

And I’m not saying everybody will suddenly love you. Some people may still have a problem with you, and that’s just the reality of leadership. But results have a way of speaking when arguments have finished.

So yes, deal with the underlying issues if there are any. Have the necessary conversations. Check your own character too.

But at the end of the day… focus on producing results.

Don’t focus on making people respect you by force.

Because your results can make people respect your leadership, no matter your age, no matter where you are coming from, and no matter your background.